Obviously I'm Just a Puppet~

“After all I’m just some broken Medusa; The ugliest, cursed and unluckiest among all living. Rejected, banned and whatever you may call; the forgotten…” –The Broken Me.

Whatever that happens you may call this a gimmick or any lame stories from someone that you may classify as a loser or anything alike. I don’t need everyone... I don’t need anyone’s besides me now. I don’t trust anyone and I don’t really feel good to be with just anyone. I hate everything and I ban on anything. I can’t live like this so why don’t …to just let go? I read some advices-talk like in my recent post and really I don’t care.

…I still have the unrecovered scars on my lower arms and it just… nothing. I wonder if it actually goes down to my wrists. Right now I feel unmotivated, hate, sad and sorrow at the same time at any level of infinities. I just want to end everything.

Today I’ll have to go to school to which I have to merge up with people that I don’t really wanna hang with. Lots of fucking dramas, silent-bullshit-self-politic, dilemmas, dramas, delimmas, delimmas…! Friendships… sucks! I don’t like those attitudes. Hence no one really likes me~ (whatever~ I’m afraid how am I going to survives within a week if I already starting to feel down… like this~) … I guess I’ve gone too far since I dare to cross my own line… and the consequences; I being a doldrums girl twice worst than ever. Human… human… human! Why do they have to “feels”!!?? Why do they have such idiot feelings; the hates, the jealousy, denial to each others, sore, lonely, unaccepted, egos etc. Whatever its bullshit and it just not fair!!! The motherfucker that used to do the first sin is long time dead!!! So your almighty is a total bullshit-unfair-brat!!!!! I hate YOU!!!!!!!!

I’m not sure what up with me; either because of the pathetic lifestyles or about my screw-up-homo-love-life~ I just hate everything! I can’t really rely on anyone. I don’t know what to do... I guess I might die young. When the time comes I’ll let go… I know this is just too stupid to talk about it; especially when I plans to just cut my life short~ YOU JUST DON’T UNDERSTANDS!! There is lots of bullshit part of my life that you don’t wanna know; to describe it is a funny thing to do… BECAUSE I CAN’T DESCRIBES IT WITH WORDS!!!! I can’t really describe how things being so shitty to me!! I just hope you to get this fucking mental and heart disease; so someday you’ll understand!!

“…I tried to force back. I growl and I struggle to gets better. I go insane and started to feel numb on everything~ …Till I can’t carves any smiles; I’ll let go… sooner or later; I’ll let go.” –The Broken Me.

Call me anything, idiot, dumb, stupid or anything like curse… cusses whatever!!? I know myself better… and single words can’t change me. Neither to motivate or to screw me up… I’m already dead.

“Sometimes things that you really hopes and rely on is the one that killing you. Look at me; I’m just no one… ” –The Broken Me.

P/s: I HATE EVERYTHING!!!!

-Lets fuck this till the death!-
The BROKEN Medusa!
Life doesn’t seems like a bandagedknee to me; NO MORE!!

My Recent: ...You Decides~

…it’s been a while I didn’t do blogging. I was busy (and still doing busy with school stuffs). Hence I stopped visiting other blogger’s page. It’s not like what everyone thought: Lazy~ but I’m sick and feel ashamed (plus a lil envy) to all bloggers or pages that visited especially to friend’s blog. Why? The answer is SIMPLE:- I’m not as lucky as YOU are. I am the forgotten person. I’m the lamest experiences to have… ever! (Whatever~) The ugliest; the broken Medusa! The blah… blah.. blah… whatever I know u knew what am I trying to say in here. And in other words~ -_-“” I feel ashamed to say “hi, how are you?” or.. something like that to friend’s blog.. the bloggers emself.. @_@”” whatever~ coz everytimes they ask me with the same questions, I’ll surely like.. “riiight…I’m fine..” while in my life-blog-stories I AM THE LOSERY BULLSHIT BITCH!

Whatever~

Perhaps this is different …here read this.. xD

…idk im still paranoia to fucking love bullshit part.. but..

 n.. idk whatever.. he rock my world!! Yeehaa! 

n.. idk.. really.. @_@ hope this one to be.. diff.. :/ 

or else.. :/

..im juz no one.. still… 

This is Beck, the bandagedknee and the broken Medusa… :)

 .

.

.

….i was gonna write things that gonna make me feeling better after a decade of being someone that owez in a deep shit.. but then…

I saw my blood bleeds and it falls to the stairs~

… and I juz realized that the smells of the blood sting strongly… n it comes from each slice that I cuts

Then… while watching it wet.. n then dry.. I could c it flows out and pounding slowly from each cuts that began to dry…

Still it messes everything that I own.. like pillow-sheet, the handkerchief.. it so beautiful~  

No hard feelings.. its juz a matter of transmitting sore hearted to be on your physical part..

This is what I look like.. the ugliest, the unluckiest and etc.. bla bla bla… im owez the cursed ugly old medusa.. -_-“

Till then.. I learnt new things.. “stop being happy coz u’ll never know what might happen~ sooner or later each laughter will turns into some desert-cry..” I was there. Still.. I think I’m stuck to be there... to which it’s actually… here.. ~ 

 Tell me which when wrong..?