Frustration Life!

8:38AM Friday; March 6, 2009
Okay, life is about a “circle”, not only it might repay your dignity to which it sometimes goes up and sometimes it goes down; BUT it goes circle on your poorness too! Today you’re feeling down; next two days then, you’ll feel the same after all the new cheers and triumph you’ve got. Too bad the poorness seems ONLY to rotate on YOU! Funny and sad; but TRUE!

Life in class isn’t really that fun anymore; to which I am now feeling extra-aware to even a “laughter-friends”. I can’t really trust anyone at this moment. It’s silly and sounds like childish but; I’m sick of being another victim of human-impurity! They’ve laugh together; but tomorrow behind their back they’re spreading lies or even the truth; too bad the fact isn’t really confronted like grown and non-cowardice person. They’ve lies! They’re denying all the truth that they’ve spoken!

Seriously, I am not a person that enjoys neither any argument nor any words; I already lose. Too bad the hardest thing to create; TRUST is already betrayal. I’m feeling depresses at some person that telling lies and denying on the dark-truth! I rather stand back and keep it to myself. I can’t really trust anyone. I don’t know how to trust or creates any trust. I ban the “friends & friendships idea!”

Not at any single perfect someone to stand and pointing at others impurities but because of knowing myself; I DARE TO WRITE THE TRUTH! I’m not perfect; not even an angelic but being in a deepest shit is making me sick 24/7!

This journey isn’t really for long;
So perhaps I should leave the crowd
And wipe all the memories
Sooner or later; I’ll be forgotten

This insanity isn’t really for me; once again I’m not in a mood of merging and crowding with any person. I suggested them to study their faces in the mirror before talking shits about others!

Again and again; life sucks with idiotic attitudes; too bad those idiots never realize that!


1:04AM Saturday; March 7, 2009
Tonight I feel stress. Everything reminded and packs! About my love-life, about my backgrounds, family matters and fucking classes crisis! Its making me feel bore of life. Bore of everything and sick of humanity attitudes. Other good friends has claimed that’s life; they’re everywhere no matter where you’re gonna be; they’ll always be around. Well read this; BOOST UP YOUR MORALITY! It’s not about religion; it’s about MORALITY! Some people says, “Not all people have morality, but for religious person of course they’ll have morality.” Well READ THIS THEN! That’s a total theory! This is for real! “Not all morality-person have religion; of course! Not all people who commit religious have a PROPER MORALITY! They spit shits at their religious belief! It’s a fake!”

Again; I feel a bit heavy tonight. About a selfish love-life; I’ll swear I’ll be forgotten. About family matters; I don’t know when it will end. I’m sick of dealing with BURDENS ALONE! I need it to end. End everything and nothing at all! About people’s attitudes; no other words than frustrated with the friendship. Too bad they’re written in a bad record. I’m sick of hypocrites and arrogance-idiotic; the truth is being twisted. I know now I can’t stand at anyone feet; they’re denying each truth or lies that they’ve spreads. Too bad they forgot that their best-man is the person who makes fact or lie sounds stronger. I feel dumb; I feel stress and I feel frustrated!

I feel like I wanted to run away;
Run away from everything;
Run away from anything;
The burdens; the fakeness;
They’re killings!
Run away as far as your eyes can’t catch
Run away as fast as I can run
Run away and never look back
Run… and run… and run
Perhaps it needs to end;
Perhaps I should decides when
If I have a guts to do so;
It will end as soon as the breath last

-Beck here; the Bandagedknee-